Surrendering Post Pilgrimage
My motto for the pilgrimage was (and still is) surrendering my will to God. I chose this motto because before leaving for the pilgrimage, we focused as a class on the importance of surrendering our wills to God. After reading and learning about the importance of surrendering to God, I decided that I wanted to not only know about it but put this idea into practice. It is easy to learn and read about something, but practicing what you learn is more difficult.
While we were at St. Paul’s Outside the Walls, I decided to first walk around the Church to get a glimpse of all the artwork and sculptures to be found. Then I entered the Chapel of the Blessed Sacrament—my favorite chapel of the trip— to pray and do some reflection. As I started reflecting, I realized that I knew how important surrendering is to achieving God’s will on earth and ultimately being with him in heaven, but I didn’t know how to surrender. Surrendering requires humility, and to be humble, you first need to know who you truly are. So I asked myself, “who am I truly?” I wasn’t able to answer this question because we only had about two hours to reflect, which felt like 20 minutes, but I got to understand better who I am. This process was not easy, especially since my pride got in the way. I still ask this question to myself and I am confident that by praying and with God’s help, I will discover who I am truly so I can completely surrender to His will.
Later that week, we visited the Basilica di Santa Maria Maggiore where I continued my reflection on how to surrender my will to God. This time I focused on understanding what my desires are and why I desire those things. To start my reflection, I listed all the things I desired at that moment and later in life. That list consisted of my bodily desires. After that, I made another list consisting of my spiritual desires which consisted of only one thing: Happiness. The only way to achieve happiness is to be in union with God, so my spiritual desire is really to be in union with God. After reflecting some more on my desires, both bodily and spiritually, I understood my bodily desires and knew that I had to surrender them to be able to perform what God desires for me on this earth. This does not mean to be careless and dismiss all of your responsibilities, but to do everything for the greater glory of God, putting God’s will before yours. This is something that I have been working since that start of the pilgrimage and after I returned from it. It has been challenging, and more often than not, it is hard to see what God wants from me, and that is why prayer and faith are so important.
Discovering who I am and giving up my desires were the two main things I focused during the pilgrimage. These two things helped me get closer to surrendering my will to God, something I am still working on. I have continued to work on these things since returning from the pilgrimage, and surrendering my will has been harder than while I was on Rome. The trip to was full of blessings and few distractions, something that made it easier for me to truly focus on surrendering my will. But now that I am back home, all the distractions and temptations I had escaped for a week have returned, making it harder to continue on my path to putting God’s will before mine. Temptations and distractions are stronger ever before, but the harder the temptation is to avoid, the bigger the grace you receive when you pray to God to help you overcome it. Surrendering your will is a lifelong process that requires a conscious effort to give up your desires and allow God to work through your life.
I will keep working on surrendering my will, and I invite you to do the same. It is important to remember that this process is a conscious effort, and it is not measured by feelings. You will sometimes feel extremely close to God and a great joy, but you will also experience moments of loneliness and distant to God. This means that in the process of surrendering and in your spiritual life, you will experience these ups and downs. But you must remember that God will always be there for you.
Thank you for your time.
Diego Blancq-Cazaux
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