Renounce My Will
Renounce My Will and accept the Will of God
This is my motto, not just for our amazing Pilgrimage but for all future retreats, pilgrimages and just life itself. Throughout the pilgrimage I reminded myself of this phrase, this motto constantly. To me this means that I may have a will of my own that may not coincide with God’s, but I need and want to renounce it so that I may accept the Will of God, His will as my own, the calling he has for me. In essence this motto means surrender, surrender to God with my everything. Surrender my mind, my body, my soul, just my everything. Give it all up to God, live this life for the calling God has for me. Over this school year I have been working on surrendering more to God by going on countless retreats, growing in close relationships with friends, having deep meaningful conversations with people and just growing in every area of my life. This is why I have been on 8 retreats this school year outside of going on this pilgrimage, each one has deepened me more in every area of life especially my relationship with God. As I have surrendered to him I have gone from seeing him as a far off authority figure to a close companion, a friend. While leading on Kairos 78 Mr. Barboza got up and added to one of the final talks saying that while on Kairos we are enjoying true reality for possibly the first time ever because who you are on retreat is who you really are meant to be without all the stresses, anxiety, worries or whatever that may be holding us back from true reality. As I have journeyed throughout my senior year of high school I have surrendered more and more to God’s will, but I have also began to reach true reality. I have taken off any masks that might hide who I really am, I express my true opinion, I don’t care about the opinions of people who judge me without critiques or help, I have started to embrace who God created me to be. While on this pilgrimage I was able to express my true opinions and beliefs in deep conversations with friends and we were able to get deep into conversation without judgment and were able to embrace who we truly were. Focusing on this motto allowed me to open up my mind and my heart to God’s will and still does. Each day I grow closer to him as long as I go into each day remembering this. I have never been at more peace and calm than when I opened my mind and heart to God. Coming back from this pilgrimage and just countlessly thinking about and reminding myself of this phrase has opened me up to God’s will even if it seems like God is calling me to something last minute and may be rough or hard, but doable. Like how the Tuesday after we got back from Rome and were just two days back into school I was asked if I could possibly lead a third Kairos, that would leave the next day, because they only had five out of eight leaders. At first I thought I couldn’t possibly balance just coming back from spring break and already was gonna miss two out of the five days back, but then I opened myself to the opportunity and really took a step back and thought about it. I had already been on three Kairos throughout the previous months of senior year and thought that Kairos 76 was my final one because you are usually only allowed to be on a max of three, your own Kairos and then coming back as a leader twice. I had jokingly asked Mr. Munoz if I could lead another thinking I wouldn’t actually be able to, but then this opportunity just came out of nowhere, I hadn’t prepared in any way, my teachers did not know yet, I had not seen what I could have gotten ahead on the previous weekend, I was not packed at all and did not have all the stuff for my cabin yet. I was not prepared at all. However I thought I needed to surrender to God’s will and I feel like he is calling me to lead this Kairos even though I was not prepared at all, except my talk from the previous Kairos. I thought what I could get ahead on, planned out how I could make up any tests or quizzes and finally asked my parents. It would be tough, but doable. I said yes and got everything I could done and got prepared. I had faith that God was calling me to this and that everything I would have to do when I got back would work out. I went on the Kairos had a beautiful time and kept my motto in my head. The retreat was a success and a blast not just for me and the other leaders but especially for all the junior retreatants. However coming back I felt crammed with work and did not know how I could possibly get it all done, but I placed my trust in God and made a plan and trusted it would all work. Come to school the Monday after the Kairos having done everything I could have done in the short time period to get prepared I placed my trust and faith in God that it would all work out, so far it seems it has all worked out to where I can manage it all in a timely and orderly fashion without having to stress very much at all. Surrendering to the will God had for me to lead this Kairos worked out because I trusted in him, because I placed my faith in him, because I surrendered to him, because I renounced my will and accepted His Will.
This is my motto, not just for our amazing Pilgrimage but for all future retreats, pilgrimages and just life itself. Throughout the pilgrimage I reminded myself of this phrase, this motto constantly. To me this means that I may have a will of my own that may not coincide with God’s, but I need and want to renounce it so that I may accept the Will of God, His will as my own, the calling he has for me. In essence this motto means surrender, surrender to God with my everything. Surrender my mind, my body, my soul, just my everything. Give it all up to God, live this life for the calling God has for me. Over this school year I have been working on surrendering more to God by going on countless retreats, growing in close relationships with friends, having deep meaningful conversations with people and just growing in every area of my life. This is why I have been on 8 retreats this school year outside of going on this pilgrimage, each one has deepened me more in every area of life especially my relationship with God. As I have surrendered to him I have gone from seeing him as a far off authority figure to a close companion, a friend. While leading on Kairos 78 Mr. Barboza got up and added to one of the final talks saying that while on Kairos we are enjoying true reality for possibly the first time ever because who you are on retreat is who you really are meant to be without all the stresses, anxiety, worries or whatever that may be holding us back from true reality. As I have journeyed throughout my senior year of high school I have surrendered more and more to God’s will, but I have also began to reach true reality. I have taken off any masks that might hide who I really am, I express my true opinion, I don’t care about the opinions of people who judge me without critiques or help, I have started to embrace who God created me to be. While on this pilgrimage I was able to express my true opinions and beliefs in deep conversations with friends and we were able to get deep into conversation without judgment and were able to embrace who we truly were. Focusing on this motto allowed me to open up my mind and my heart to God’s will and still does. Each day I grow closer to him as long as I go into each day remembering this. I have never been at more peace and calm than when I opened my mind and heart to God. Coming back from this pilgrimage and just countlessly thinking about and reminding myself of this phrase has opened me up to God’s will even if it seems like God is calling me to something last minute and may be rough or hard, but doable. Like how the Tuesday after we got back from Rome and were just two days back into school I was asked if I could possibly lead a third Kairos, that would leave the next day, because they only had five out of eight leaders. At first I thought I couldn’t possibly balance just coming back from spring break and already was gonna miss two out of the five days back, but then I opened myself to the opportunity and really took a step back and thought about it. I had already been on three Kairos throughout the previous months of senior year and thought that Kairos 76 was my final one because you are usually only allowed to be on a max of three, your own Kairos and then coming back as a leader twice. I had jokingly asked Mr. Munoz if I could lead another thinking I wouldn’t actually be able to, but then this opportunity just came out of nowhere, I hadn’t prepared in any way, my teachers did not know yet, I had not seen what I could have gotten ahead on the previous weekend, I was not packed at all and did not have all the stuff for my cabin yet. I was not prepared at all. However I thought I needed to surrender to God’s will and I feel like he is calling me to lead this Kairos even though I was not prepared at all, except my talk from the previous Kairos. I thought what I could get ahead on, planned out how I could make up any tests or quizzes and finally asked my parents. It would be tough, but doable. I said yes and got everything I could done and got prepared. I had faith that God was calling me to this and that everything I would have to do when I got back would work out. I went on the Kairos had a beautiful time and kept my motto in my head. The retreat was a success and a blast not just for me and the other leaders but especially for all the junior retreatants. However coming back I felt crammed with work and did not know how I could possibly get it all done, but I placed my trust in God and made a plan and trusted it would all work. Come to school the Monday after the Kairos having done everything I could have done in the short time period to get prepared I placed my trust and faith in God that it would all work out, so far it seems it has all worked out to where I can manage it all in a timely and orderly fashion without having to stress very much at all. Surrendering to the will God had for me to lead this Kairos worked out because I trusted in him, because I placed my faith in him, because I surrendered to him, because I renounced my will and accepted His Will.
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